March 2021. I didn’t realize how dead inside I’ve been feeling about hot sauce until my smart and insightful wife, Tracy, called me out on it. The sun was shining on the green green grass outside for the first time in weeks, and though I attempted to deflect T’s questions, I couldn’t stay out of that light either. Spring, my favorite time of year, is just around the corner and I feel like a vampire being reborn into the light. I am both illuminated and fearful of what getting back to the world looks like. Maybe some of you can relate? I’m guessing many more than not right now.

I spent January and February hunkered down, barely leaving the house but to lumber from one set of doors to another. This is traditional for me. Being disabled in the Ohio winter generally guarantees difficult terrain due to the higher chances of our weather patterns showering us with ice. Those wet spots on the pavement during these times represent a certain type of fear to folks that struggle with balance and motor coordination. Know that. With a huff and a little bit of puff I internalized my wife’s gentle prodding and committed to shaking off these doldrums.

Now, before you start thinking I’ve just been totally slacking, I assure you, I’ve signed up for all the markets we are doing this year and I’m nearing completion of chiseling that calendar into stone. That’s right. We’re on the verge of announcing all the fun places we’ll be this season come hell or high Covid numbers. We’ll be wearing a mask and smiling if not downright laughing underneath it. And last year? Last year can kiss my ass.

Also, while being strapped to this stability ball all winter, I’ve been doing my own deep dive into a bunch of those giant mega commercial hot sauces that you find on the shelves of your local super shop of ginormities. I wanted to grasp what makes these salty vinegar waters so popular and I’ve come to at least three conclusions about them. So, tune in next time and I’ll tell you what I think about that hot dog water we all love to put on our nachos while we kid ourselves about sodium contents and how much we like things “spicy!”

Meanwhile, buy some JuicyMelt hot sauce and help us break free from spending our future on Dogecoin and cheap macro hot sauces that tell us more than we want to know about ourselves and our palate. We’ve been enjoying seeing the picture shared on social media so if you got ‘em, tag us and let’s see them.

 

 

Jeffrey McElfresh
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