I’ve always been a dreamer. Oddly enough my dreams are what have driven me to become such a process-oriented person. I know that reaching goals is like math, like life – every lesson builds on the previous exercise. Once you start putting in the ground floors the structure builds and builds until one day, if you’re fortunate, you find yourself on the roof. You can look down and across all those events that placed you here and you can speak to each one. Some of them were easy, some were hard. Some cost you dearly and some you wish you could relive, even for a moment. Life isn’t about chilling on that roof, though. Life is about what happens right now. What decision you make in this moment. That’s the thing about living for a journey that I truly love. The thrill is almost always visible if you look deep enough.
But the journey has brought us here now. 2020. The COVID19 pandemic. People are scared, rightly so. Many of you have put in the time it takes to live bigger than your skill sets. Many of you can look back on your own trials and tribulations, your successes and leaps forward. I think it is a lot easier to be nostalgic for what we fear we may have lost than it is to be excited about the work we’ll have to do to keep building. They always say you have to be uncomfortable to grow. I’m not ready to go there yet so don’t worry. I don’t think I could really write a pep talk right now anyways. Shit is too heinous.
Instead I’d like to write about all these moments we’re living through. Whether you are working from home, unemployed or still rolling into your commute – we are all in this together. Ok, most of us are in this together. I can’t deny the affront of seeing some folks posting on the gram from the deck of their yachts as the sun rises over the open waters and they “ride out” the virus. But then I remember that I have a home. I have so many personal comforts that make this horrible scenario tolerable, livable. I am able to stop and think during these moments and that is the luxury. The beauty of having time.
These moments are adding up now. We are at two weeks of stay at home. They just released information that calls on us to continue to hold this pattern until at least April 30th. I’m seeing talk of 100,000 to 200,000 deaths, unemployment of up to 20%. I’m trying to limit my exposure to coronavirus for sure, but I’m also trying to limit my exposure to social media. I noticed yesterday that my breathing exercises were giving me anxiety. Damn. I don’t like it when paying attention to your breathing makes you nervous about breathing. If you know, you know!
I’m staying focused on the now. I’m choosing not to suffer my past or future, yet. The joys and pains of either is too illusionary at this moment. I’m going to try and control my own selfcare. I’m going to work on the present.